Wednesday, October 19, 2011

How to Save Your Relationship - Even If You're No Longer Together


Any time your love relationships shatter, it is preceded by very clear warning signals - whether you paid attention or not. As a matter of fact, from a subconscious level, avoiding these signals was more important to you than staying together - no matter how off that may sound to you right now.
But just because your relationship has ended (or is about to end) does not mean that it cannot be mended. That's where this article comes in. Let's get started by running over some crucial points you need to know about right now:
Give your partner space
If you're like most people, you are probably dying to pick up the phone and call him/her right now. Doing so is perfectly fine if you want this split to be permanent. However, if you want your partner back, don't do it - do not call! There is a reason why the relationship ended, and for now, you need to back off and respect that.
Don't gossip about your partner
No matter how tempting it may be to pour your heart out to your friends about the shortcomings of your ex (to make yourself feel better about the split), please resist the temptation. Unless, again, you want the break up to be permanent. Right now, you're in a fragile emotional state, and whatever you share with others carries a lot of energy. Besides, it's a small world, and word may get around to your ex.
Enjoy alone-time
Your ex isn't the only one who needs space right now - you do as well. That does not have to be a bad thing. Just know that you two are going to be back together again soon, and be relaxed and easy about it. Hang out with your friends/family and enjoy yourself. Be the person your ex fell in love with when you first met - say goodbye to the person you were when you two split up. To do that, it will help to:
Identify the symptoms
As you relax and let go, trusting that you will once again be together, insights will start coming to you. Pay close attention to those insights. See if you can identify the main issue behind the break up. Maybe someone cheated, maybe you argued too much, perhaps you didn't give your partner enough space, or vice versa, or just about anything else. Your job is to relax and be yourself, and your mind will do the rest.
Oh, and remember - it's NEVER them, it's always you. No matter how much something seems like your partner's fault, the only way you're going to save the relationship is by finding responsibility in yourself.


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