How to Save Your Relationship - Even If You're No Longer Together

Any time your love relationships shatter, it is preceded by very clear warning signals - whether you paid attention or not. As a matter of fact, from a subconscious level, avoiding these signals was more important to you than staying together - no matter how off that may sound to you right now.

But just because your relationship has ended (or is about to end) does not mean that it cannot be mended. That's where this article comes in. Let's get started by running over some crucial points you need to know about right now:

Give your partner space

If you're like most people, you are probably dying to pick up the phone and call him/her right now. Doing so is perfectly fine if you want this split to be permanent. However, if you want your partner back, don't do it - do not call! There is a reason why the relationship ended, and for now, you need to back off and respect that.

Don't gossip about your partner

No matter how tempting it may be to pour your heart out to your friends about the shortcomings of your ex (to make yourself feel better about the split), please resist the temptation. Unless, again, you want the break up to be permanent. Right now, you're in a fragile emotional state, and whatever you share with others carries a lot of energy. Besides, it's a small world, and word may get around to your ex.

Enjoy alone-time

Your ex isn't the only one who needs space right now - you do as well. That does not have to be a bad thing. Just know that you two are going to be back together again soon, and be relaxed and easy about it. Hang out with your friends/family and enjoy yourself. Be the person your ex fell in love with when you first met - say goodbye to the person you were when you two split up. To do that, it will help to:

Identify the symptoms

As you relax and let go, trusting that you will once again be together, insights will start coming to you. Pay close attention to those insights. See if you can identify the main issue behind the break up. Maybe someone cheated, maybe you argued too much, perhaps you didn't give your partner enough space, or vice versa, or just about anything else. Your job is to relax and be yourself, and your mind will do the rest.

Oh, and remember - it's NEVER them, it's always you. No matter how much something seems like your partner's fault, the only way you're going to save the relationship is by finding responsibility in yourself.

Separation And Divorce - Pros And Cons

Making a decision to separate or divorce has a major impact on your life, whether the decision is mutual or not. The ritual of marriage is a significant milestone in life and to undo or reverse this is similarly significant.

In a time of relationship crisis, separation and divorce might seem the only solution. Having said that, it is important to keep the whole picture, including all the different people affected, in mind.

Advantages

There are always pro and cons with every decision. Here are some of the advantages of separating:

Being or becoming happier: Living in a relationship that has passed its due date can significantly influence your state. It may be for the best to live apart and as a consequence you might feel happier and livelier again.

Finding a more suitable partner: When you met your current spouse they might have been the right person to develop a relationship with and eventually marry, however this might no longer be the case. We all change and time moves on - and so do people. Divorce can allow you to spend the rest of your life, or your next life cycle, with someone more suited to who you are now.

Shared child-care: If you have agreed shared custody you will have 'children-free time' which allows you to take weekends away or nights out with adult friends.

Time alone: You will have significantly more time alone, which can be both an advantage and a disadvantage.

Living more authentically: If you have outgrown your relationship you might be more true to your current authentic self by deciding to go your own way and split.

Disadvantages:

Thinking about a divorce usually gets you easily thinking about the advantages of separation. It is important to also include the disadvantages to make an informed decision.

Reduced/increased time with children: You will no longer have your children with you the whole time or you might have your children at all times, with little or no support of your partner. If you have shared custody, you will see them regularly but it will never be as before, when you woke up with them in the house every day.

Having to make new friends: As a couple you will have shared friends, other couples and other families with children. Often after a divorce, some or even many of those friends will be more friends of either you or your former partner. One of the challenges will specifically be to make new single friends for the times you want to go out without your children.

Being alone: Many of my clients find it challenging to spend so much time alone, which they are no longer used to. Some time alone might be desirable but not having the choice over how much is a different story.

Financial strains: A divorce itself will have significant financial impacts, as well as living alone or having to pay for child-care and / or support.

What is your personal story?

There will be more advantages and disadvantages as part of your individual situation. Sit down and make a list of what they are for you - this will help you through this period.

Whatever the reasons are, think about the advantages and disadvantages carefully and don't rush a decision. It may be advisable to try mediation or couples counseling as part of your separation or to come to a joint decision and to support each other in dealing with this life transition.

Grandparents Raising Grandchildren - Advantages and Disadvantages

Sometimes situation may arise in life when a child has grown up being raised by grandparents. The sudden death, divorce and parental abuse leave the children in the custody of grandparents. The best people in such a time to raise the children are grandparents. The present US legislation on grandparent's rights to raise their grandchildren is limited in that it requires prior court approval and sanction to take custody and of the child. This is so important when either one or the two parents object to the visitation and grandparents rights even if the child wants to visitation.

Now the important question that arises here is; are all grandparents able to care for their grandchildren? The answer to this question is both yes and no which means that the fundamental right of parents to raise their children can not be questioned. The aim of finding a solution to this dilemma is to protect the best interest of the child. In their young ages the children may become emotionally upset because of the family troubles.

Some Advantages of Grandparenting:
Looking after a child keeps the grandparents energetic and vibrant even though their health may not be suitable for a continuous activity. They develop a security feeling that grandchildren may look after them when they become too dependent on others due to old age. Among grandparents, grandmothers have a distinct role when looking after a child. Children develop more attachment towards their grandmothers because most of the time the grandmother baths, feeds and even reads books to them. Research has shown that when children are cared for by their grandmothers, they have lesser possibility of getting bodily injuries. When the children are looked after by the parents or other near relatives often they forget to watch the children while they get involved in other work. Grandparents are more cautious about children and their safety.

The Disadvantages of Grandparenting:
Not all grandparents are capable of raising their grandchildren. They might have their own problems which make them unfit for looking after a child. The death of a child's parents often put the responsibility on the grandparents to raise the children. An important issue is the loss of memory. Grandparents may forget to give medicines to the child or they may forget to buy something important for them. Those with physical disabilities and problems may find it difficult to look after children. The poor financial status of the grandparents may affect the child's health and education.

The success of grandparenting depends on various factors. It includes the physical and mental health of the grandparents, the support they get from other relatives and the community, the financial status and the emotional and health problems of the children. Grandparents raising grandchildren is a more loving option than a child being placed with strangers.

Early Marriage - The Benefits And Disadvantages

Before starting a debate on early marriage you would need to define the parameters that label a marriage as 'early' and in what context. In the United States, teenage pregnancies abound meaning that girls indulge in sex as early as 13 years old but there is no marriage solemnized before the girl really grows up and is on her own, usually at the very least, 18 years of age.

On the other hand, in Asian countries and many parts of Africa girls are married sometimes very early on (child marriage) and can be at any age between birth and puberty. Once married, they are sent to their in-laws house as soon as they attain puberty. Thus, they too would be sexually active in their teens but they would be so under the compulsion of "marriage" which is traditionally accepted but is still considered illegal.

Early Marriage - The Benefits

In Asian countries the early marriage and therefore early "sending off" to the in-laws house is read as a benefit because it is easier for the child-bride to adapt to her husband's house and therefore have better chances for a happy marriage. It also felt that when a girl is married off early she would be protected from evils such as rape, casual sex and the like. In Asiatic countries and Africa where chastity is valued above all else, this seems like a great motivating factor for early marriage.

Last but not least, the parents of girls who marry early would normally give less dowry than when they marry at an older age. In areas where poverty is rampant, this is a matter of survival.

In the United States and other parts of the country there are contradictions when it comes to early marriage, as traditions and ways of life are very different when it comes to this. Being married at the age of 22 is considered early marriage in these parts of the world.

Early Marriage - The Disadvantages

When you look at it from the girl's point of view, you'll find that most will say it cannot be termed as anything but a disadvantage. Under the label of marriage in Asian and African communities, the girl is first of all subjected to marital rape as early as 13 years old. Pregnancy follows which owing to lack of nutritious food and adequate rest leads to a number of complications. It so happens that by the time the girl reaches her twenties, she is already spent and looks close to forty years of age due to multiple pregnancies, household work and inadequate nutrition which take their toll on her.

Since the girl is too young and definitely uneducated to even know her rights or what is good for her, she is in no position to make any decisions about her life, spacing of babies, food, rest or sexual preference. In most cases she submits herself to whatever her husband and her in-laws decide without having any say in the matter, thus making early marriage something she has to put up with.

This is also the same type of thought found in other countries who don't practice childhood marriage, and probably the reason it is not practiced today.

Marriage Counseling - Advantages and Disadvantages

No matter how hard a couple tries, it is tough to work problems when you have two people with two different perspectives. Sometimes the partners can't even agree on what the issue is, much less how to resolve it. A marriage counselor can often help mend the marriage if each is willing to put in the effort.

Picking the Person

Finding a skilled counselor is a huge factor in whether the sessions are actually going to help. Credentials and recommendations from prior clients can help provide the couple ideas for their selection. Most frequently, however, choosing a good counselor comes down to personal "chemistry." That is, who do we work well with?

Counseling works best when both partners are comfortable. It doesn't matter how many diplomas or other accolades are on the wall - if either spouse doesn't mesh well with the counselor, the sessions will very unlikely be successful. So couples need to locate a counselor who also can work within their personal, cultural and religious beliefs.

The Upside

Most frequently, a good counselor works as a mediator between the two conflicting parties. It is his/her job to assure that both sides get their say. The counselor is also responsible for keeping the sessions productive - and civil. Advice is offered, as well as exercises to the couple to help work through and resolve their problems.

Marriage counseling can work well because each partner has a chance to vent in a safe environment. They present their concerns, fears and sore points without censure or judgment. A trained counselor can gently push or prod the couple past the obvious complaints and into their deeper, underlying feelings.

The Downside

On the negative side, some couples come to therapy with an expectation that the counselor will simply "fix" them, leading to more passive conversations. They don't understand that the counselor is more of a guide, so each partner must invest him/herself wholeheartedly into the sessions if there is realistic hope for success.

Let's fact it, many marriages are doomed before the couple ever walks into the office. Marriage counseling is often viewed as a "Hail Mary" play - that is, a last ditch effort before the final decision of divorce. Quite frequently, one spouse has already decided to file for divorce before ever passing through the counselor's door.

Clearly, that mindset is counter-productive to therapy sessions. Spouses who are not committed to the process will resist almost any suggestions or advice that the counselor gives. They may even resent being present in the sessions. Or - perhaps worse - one mate will feign interest and commitment while in the presence of the counselor, and then revert to uncooperative upon returning home.

Counseling can only work if both partners are committed to the process and marriage healing - it takes a lot of hard work to save a marriage. Each partner needs to invest the time and effort to make the sessions productive, while the counselor balances the personalities and needs of the couple.

The Uncontested Divorce: Pros And Cons

Most divorces nowadays are uncontested. It's far less expensive, time consuming, and allows both sides to end their marriage on good terms. It's also better particularly if children are involved, as they won't have to witness a year long battle in court over who gets custody. The following discuses the advantages and disadvantages of this divorce in greater depth.

Advantages

As mentioned, the uncontested divorce will save both spouses a lot of money. And for many, this is probably what's most attractive about it. Contested divorces last a lot longer, and both parties really have no choice but to hire lawyers. Over the course of six months to a year, the fees will really add up and cost a small fortune. Uncontested divorces can be completed only spending hundreds of dollars, as opposed to the thousands you will have to spend going to court. Both sides will certainly benefit from the money saved.

The benefits of an uncontested divorce are intangible as well. Contested divorces are often get ugly between both sides. Fighting it out in the courts for a year will only make the relationship between the two spouses worse. And the children will ultimately suffer that much more. An uncontested divorce however allows both sides to work together and compromise. This of course doesn't mean that there won't be tense moments, but the process is much quicker and not nearly as hostile.

You will always be connected to your spouse if you have children. So it's in the best interest of both sides to have a relationship that's on good terms.

As mentioned, an uncontested divorce will likely not be without it's rocky moments. Let's face it, a breakup is never completely smooth no matter what. But as long as both sides desire to go uncontested, then chances are good that all the terms will be agreed upon.

Going the uncontested route may not always be feasible, particularly if one spouse has been abused. But it's a realistic option in the majority of cases.

Disadvantages

What are the downsides? There aren't many to be honest, but having to work with ex-wife or husband on all the issues can be emotionally draining. You will have to agree on all the major issues, such as child custody, property division, spousal support, and so on. This is not easy. You are getting divorced for a reason, and so agreeing with one another can be challenging, especially if both sides aren't willing to give on certain issues.

So uncontested divorces do involved some work on both ends. But the advantages certainly outweigh the disadvantages.

Benefits Versus Disadvantages of Initiating a Divorce During an Economic Recession

Every Texas divorce attorney may have different experiences in the number of divorces they handle during an economic recession; but most do notice some kind of a change in how many clients choose to file during hard economic times. Texas divorce attorneys may see an increase in divorce filings of high net-worth clients, who may have many assets to protect.

By taking advantage of a recession and initiating proceedings now, they may reap some of the potential benefits of the economic downturn. The value of their assets may diminish, including that of their homes, stock portfolios, businesses and expensive automobiles. With diminished assets, divorce lawyers in Houston may be able to reduce their overall financial liability to their ex-spouse. It is helpful for these wealthy clients to realize that once the economy gets better, their net worth, and perhaps even their earning potential, will see a significant improvement.

On the other hand, a bad economy may actually decrease divorce rates with clients who have limited financial resources. An overall study of Texas divorce attorneys found that there are fewer people filing for a divorce during a time of economic downturn. Divorce can be an expensive endeavor, and some filing and attorney retainer fees can run between several hundred and several thousand dollars. Further, the thought of having to begin paying for two households rather than one may seem daunting for families who are working their way through a recession.

Another question that many clients ask their Houston divorce attorney is how the recession will affect them if they own a small business that is a substantial asset within the marriage. Most of the values of a client's assets go down during a recession, which means that the fair market value of their business may diminish, as well. There is some advantage to the spouse who is able to retain the business, rather than the one who is compensated by cash or other assets, because the value of the business is likely to increase once the economy recovers. Competent Houston divorce lawyers should be able to work hard to make sure that their client receives fair, favorable compensation in cases where the spouses share the assets of a small business.

Concerns about child and spousal are also common during divorces that occur during a recession. Obviously, if the child and/or spousal support obligator's current income as been reduced, the awarded level will be lower. This lowered amount could be beneficial for the obligator, who may see an advantage for obtaining a judgment of divorce during this time; however, when wages increase during better economic times, there may be a cause for an application for an increase of support. The spousal or child support recipient's Texas divorce attorneys could seek that the court income average for the past several years, but the courts usually have a preference for dealing with a obligator's current income rather than past incomes.

Divorce Mediation - The Process and Its Perceived Advantages and Disadvantages

Today, for significant portion of adult and children marital and family relations are neither straightforward nor stable. In the US, according to the recent researches 13.8 million children, 25% of those under the age of 18, are living with only one parent and another 5 million children in two parents homes live with a biological parent and a step parent. And it is a clear estimation that half of the marriages will end up in divorce.

Now, when the problem of family disruption is a widespread, the question of how to minimize the pain of disruption arises with growing number of professional.

If we are establishing minor dispute mediation centers in the country and developing effective divorce mediation efforts, however not only must we be knowledgeable about the process of mediation but we must also ground the knowledge in substantive understanding of the broad-range impact of the divorce on people's lives.

According to a research, there are at least "six divorces" contained in any marital breakup which count as emotional, legal, economic, co-parent, community, and psychic divorce.

Today, as mediation is very common, some states of the US have quite constant and broad use of divorce mediation e.g. Taxes and Connecticut. On contrary, in many other states the divorce process is made complex and difficult hoping that this will improve the quality of families. In fact this attempt has saved many marriages but, if the marriages cannot be saved what is the next alternative?

Usually divorcing couples lack information about the divorce process and are unnecessarily fearful of what may happen. Many just wanted to know their rights for years; the "knee jerk" reaction was "I'll get an attorney."

This is at the responsibility of the divorcing couples that they should supply themselves with sufficient enough knowledge about divorce so that they have a choice of which divorce process is best for them. In most of the situations at least 95 percent of all divorce cases settle rather than being tried to conclusion.

A divorcing couple must subject themselves by asking how much time and energy do they waste on the way to a hostile or angry settlement? Are there better ways to achieve settlement? The answer is yes! There are better ways to achieve settlement. Divorcing couples should consider their options in a constructive and progressive manner starting with the least hostile approach, divorce mediation.

The term "mediation" got significance in the area of family law for about 25 years now. As the family problems are becoming extensive, likewise divorce has become so very common. And thus every involved one is in search of an effective a way-out. A divorcing couple knows that divorce just doesn't end everything about a marriage, though it ends the legal contract between a husband and a wife but, it shatters the household that was based on that marriage. It also cannot break the relationship that the children of the marriage create merely by existing.

Mediation, also called as "alternative dispute resolution" is a process by which an impartial third person (sometimes more than one person) helps two discordant parties to resolve dispute through a mutual concession and face-face negotiation. A mediator is a trained professional who doesn't force rather assists the parties in their own negotiation without making decisions for the parties. A mediator rather help the parties understand what is happening to them and encourages them to negotiate in good faith that brings fruitful results in future.

Mediators most often are appointed by the court, usually with agreement by the lawyers for both sides. Mediators come in several varieties. Some of them are professional private mediators, many of whom are lawyers. They eliminate the need for a jury trial about 90 percent of the time. Others are volunteer mediators and many of them are retired attorneys or nonlawyers trained by Dispute Resolution Services. Their settlement rate is 65 to 70 percent most of the times.

After a long course of hard work, if divorce mediation doesn't suit, the parties should consider a collaborative law divorce. It is a process in which the parties and their attorneys agree to resolve all issues in an atmosphere of cooperation, honesty and integrity with out being engaged in adversarial tactics in or out of court.

If divorce mediation and collaborative divorce do not work for a given couple, the parties may choose the adversarial approach (keeping its cost in mind).

Mediators often seek to better meet the supposed advantages of the mediation process over litigation. The general benefits and advantages argued to be seen as a result of divorce mediation include:

- Both the parties are free to air their concern.

- A neutral person assists both the parties

- The approach is always nonadversarial

- Both the parties have control over the outcome

- The costs are cut to a great extent

- No one's privacy is hurt

- A settlement agreement according to the family's needs

- Avoidance of litigation

Extensive researches show that mediation is the appropriate way but the argument is the field is still lacking knowledge on the effect of personality styles on mediation outcome. Despite substantial support for divorce mediation disadvantages do exist.

Divorce mediation may not be appropriate for both the spouses undergoing the process. It has several disadvantages as well:

- The other spouse may not cooperate and you can't force him/her.

- The other party may try to show dominance over you and here a court lawyer can only offset the imbalance.

- The other spouse may frighten or threaten you, and once a spouse is afraid of personal safety, the participation interest drastically drops down.

- Others argue that the decrease in the cost of mediation and the higher fee of lawyers is due to their high expertise in the field and only they can better predict the appropriate outcome of the case.

Therefore, every divorcing couple must try to settle down their marital issues within themselves. If they can't go that way at least they must not hide anything from one another and should undergo the mediation process leading to a conclusion. In circumstances, the situation goes out of hand and both the spouses cannot reach to conformity, the traditional adversarial approach could be a final resort (bearing the costs in mind).

Advantages and Disadvantages of Collaborative Divorce

In recent times collaborative divorce is much favored amongst couples instead of dragging the case to law courts which can be stressful and tedious. Even a divorce attorney would suggest opting for this type since this means that the argument between couples can be resolved outside courtrooms and in privacy. Most couples residing in numerous US cities like Milwaukee (WI) and Greenfield (WI) prefer to go for collaborative compared to other types of divorce cases.

It is always considered better for couples to decide upon such emotional and sensitive issues like alimony, child custody, and child support rather than leaving the decision in the hands of an impersonal judge. Any divorce attorney from any US city like Milwaukee (WI) and Brown Deer (WI) would say that couples discussing themselves and then coming to a decision regarding these topics would always be more satisfying.

However, there are numerous advantages and disadvantages of collaborative divorce cases. Listed below are some points.

Advantages:

• Divorce and similar concomitant topics are discussed and decided by couples, the result of which is more satisfying than leaving it to law courts to pass a decision on such cases.
• Couples cooperate with a professional team of financial, legal, and psychological experts to arrive at a mutual understanding and settlement.
• In collaborative divorce, couples have the freedom to openly express their feelings and are also offered amicable solutions to the problems, that too in privacy. On the other hand, in courtrooms the lawyers publicly argue and may even resort to falsehoods and distortions.
• It has been noticed that collaborative lawyers are specially trained to offer various possible solutions to problems which may not have struck couples before. Thus in such cases chances of settlements are much higher.

Disadvantages:

• One of the major drawbacks of collaborative divorce is that, once couples fail to come to a mutual settlement and agree upon a fair understanding, then the team of experts has to exit. Then a new set of experts have to take up the case, which in other words means that it has gone back to where it started from.
• Another disadvantage of this type of divorce cases is that, couples have to be transparent with each other during mutual settlement. If this is not the case, then the entire meaning of collaborative divorce dies out.

He Doesn't Want a Relationship Right Now - How to Change His Mind So He'll Commit to You

When you're crazy about a man and he doesn't want a relationship right now it's going to leave you feeling confused and disappointed. Attraction can be a funny thing. You can spend hours upon hours with a man building up a connection and he'll suddenly tell you that he just isn't interested in anything exclusive with you because he wants to be single and available. At the same time, he's constantly calling you, pursuing you and is more than a little interested in intimacy with you. How do you handle this? If you're wild about him and you want him to make a commitment to you that he'll date you exclusively, can you make that happen? You actually can. Every woman has the power to subtly convince the man she desires to not only want a relationship with her, but a deeply connected one at that.

If he doesn't want a relationship right now and you do, you need to show him that you're not going to settle. Once a man has confidence in a woman's desire to be with him, her cards are all out in full view. He knows exactly what she's feeling and thinking and he knows that she's his for the taking anytime he pleases. If he's tested the waters by not calling you when he's promised or if he's ignored you for days at a time, and you're still willing to spend time with him, he's labeled you as caught and he knows he doesn't need to do anything else to keep you. Your are his in his eyes and if he's permitted to continue to go out and pursue other women while you sit idly by waiting for him to come back your way, he'll keep doing that over and over again. That's why you need to cut things off at the knees right now.

Pulling back when he doesn't want a relationship is your way of saying it's not good enough. If you know that he cares for you, he'll do whatever it takes to draw you closer again. Whenever a woman creates some distance and suddenly seems disinterested it's as if a match has been lit under her guy's desire. She instantly seems irresistible because she's unexpectedly not attainable anymore. If you have to walk away to get his attention, do it. Once he sees that you're not happy with the non relationship status that he wants, he'll reconsider getting more serious with you.

Wonderful Marriage Retreats For Enhancing Your Relationship

Intensive marriage retreats are truly effective for supporting all couples. Because the couples retreats activity will help both partner have a better understanding to each other. Moreover, every couple needs to have a happy life, have honesty in their relationship, and have the right to love and respect each other. Generally, the marriage retreats mean a chance to discuss what the problems in marriage are. Some therapists include a discussion about the personal backgrounds and the deeply thought in your brain in their session.

In marriage retreats, the counselors also need to understand your feelings. They need to find out how to enhance your skills to resolve your problems in marriage and help you to improve your communication skills too. Attending the couples retreats is also an opportunity to learn how to build your tolerance to face any problems in marriage. The key is that your personal happiness is connected directly to your relationship. You will find how to resolve your communication problems and how to chance your self-defeating attitude and actions.

How marriage retreats can build a healthy and happy marriage relationship

Building better communication skills is the main point in the marriage retreats and it is the key of your successful saving a relationship method. Normally each spouse sees the problems in marriage in a different point of view. Marriage counseling retreats can support you healing yourself after you have passed bad experiences, such as lack of trust from signs of an affair. Therapists can assist you to rebuild love and trust within your marriage and saving a relationship. The counselor can help you move forward in your marriage, however, motivation is needed on both partners.

The marriage counselors who run the marriage retreats know how important for the retreats to maintain the respect and trust in a relationship. Moreover, they will help bringing hope for the future, handling with the issues in a harmful and recommend the successful way saving a marriage and keeping your relationship last as long. Those tricks that therapists use is something natural for some people, but they are some science and art that some couples need to learn. Attending marriage retreats will bring more caring and love into your relationship, so it is necessary to find a reliable counselor if you notice that your marriage comes to the trouble stage.

No matter how difficult this seems to be, you will learn how to find how to balance the need to be the "charming spouse" for your partner and the need to be an individual.

Husband Back - Struggling to Get Your Husband Back? You Need A Radical Plan Of Action Right Away!

If you're asking your self this then it is safe to presume that your husband has walked out on your marriage and you are looking for a plan to win him back. By reading up on what you need to do you have taken an important step in finding the right way of doing it. Many wives lose their husbands for good because they react in an highly emotional way that simply pushes their husbands away for good. Believe it or not, you really can take positive steps to win him back even if he appears to show little interest in your marriage.

Remain Calm

I know this can be difficult when you need him back as soon as possible but you must do it. I know it is devastating to hear your husband utter the words separation or divorce but you absolutely must control your emotions. Its human nature to believe that the longer something remains broken the more difficult it will be to repair it. Fortunately with marriage this isn't the case. By keeping your cool and allowing your husband some space you actually stand a better chance of getting him to come back to you. You don't believe this? Well what is the other option? Is it to call your husband many times a day, to beg for him to come back to you? This is unappealing to a husband, makes a wife look to needy and will reinforce your husbands beliefs that you are irrational and that he is better off away from you.

Now this may surprise you.

Most women believe that the reason for the split is either another woman, money worries or stresses over other domestic issues. Well in my experience it is mainly due to the the husband not having the same connection with his wife as he did when he first married her. We have all heard of the phrase ' The Honeymoon Is Over' well it doesn't have to be. The feeling of togetherness can be revived between you if you are willing to stay patient and think smart.

You have to think of a situation where you and your husband disagree and maybe give a little ground to him. Think of an issue where you were disagreeing a lot. Would it really hurt you to give ground on the issue? You have to show him that you are open to change without giving too much ground. If you start agreeing with him on all the contentious issues in your relationship you will appear too desperate and needy. By agreeing with him on a issue, you have opened up a line of communication and lessened the level of anger and tension in your marriage.

Getting your husband back is a marathon not a sprint!

Ok, by this stage you have shown your husband that you can remain calm and be open to negotiation on issues within your marriage. He should now be calmer and be less resistant to any advances from you. However, now isn't the time to start trying to get him back by pestering him to. Instead you are now going to show him that you can get on with your life with or without him.

What type of person were you when your husband first fell in love with you? I bet you he loved you for many reasons. Think back to the way you used to be back then and show him that you can be that person again. You need to have the mindset that you are improving your outlook for your benefit whether it be meeting up with friends that you haven't seen for a while, taking more pride in your appearance or simply being more optimistic about life in general. Your husband will notice these changes in you and be more attracted to you for them.

Many women are closer to winning back their husband than they could ever imagine but mess it up by panicing and looking too desperate. Of course you want him back but by trying too hard you are likely to push him further away.

How to Get Your Ex Wife Back - The 7 Mistakes You Must Stop to Have Any Chance of Winning Her Back

In this article on how to get your wife back, we will cover the 7 fatal mistakes that 99% of men make, so that you don't have to make them. If you use the information in this article correctly, it can virtually put a leash on your ex wife's heart and pull her back into your arms - before it's too late.

OK, let's get right to it and do some damage control. Here are the 7 mistakes that cold, hard statistics tell us 99% of men make - and when they do, they lose ANY chance of reconciling with their ex wives. Afterwards, you'll be pointed to a wonderful resource that will help you make sure you say and do the right things to get her back with you for good:

The 7 Mistakes That Lets Your Ex Wife Know She's Made The Right Choice By Divorcing you:

1. Giving your ex wife flowers and gifts: Believe it or not, flowers/gifts don't create attraction. To the contrary, it signals your ex wife that you're not good enough; you use flowers and gifts to hide your flaws.
2. Using logic to make her come back: You can't argue yourself into a relationship. The heart is reactive - not logical.
3. Behaving Overly nice to make her "see what she's missing": It takes friction to create sparks - you simply can't go along with everything your ex wife says/does and expect it to work out. Conflict makes things interesting, and a marriage without conflict/edge is boring.
4. Keep saying "I love you" to get your ex wife back: Another perfect example of NOT how to get your ex wife back. It's an understandable impulse, but it ALWAYS comes off as needy in this situation, because you're not saying it just because you love her - you say it to try to get her back.
5. Giving your ex wife all the power: Whatever you do, don't act like your life has ended if your wife leaves you. It does NOT show her how much you love her - it actually has a pretty high chance of making you look pathetic - depending on how long you choose to wallow in self sorrow.
6. Giving up your self-respect: "Please come back, I'll do anything you want". This may work in the short run - you and your ex may become "sex mates" for a while, but only until someone else, with their self respect in check, comes along.
7. Mis-reading her signals: There usually comes a moment when she actually is giving you an opportunity to get back together with her. It is, however, CRUCIAL to read her signals right, so that you know when this window is open - and how to respond like she's hoping you will. Mess this one up, and all hope is lost.

How Do You Get Your Ex Back? Try This Killer Advice

Love is a strange emotion at times, some are wonderful feelings while others can be devastating. Remember the butterfly feeling when you suddenly wake up one morning and could not wait to see your girlfriend or boyfriend later that day.

That is the time it will most likely hit you, and you realised you were head over heels in love with them.

However the other side of that coin is the feeling of devastation, you are now someone who feels like your world is ending and the only thing on your mind is "how do you get your ex back?"

Every effort you make seems to push your ex partner further away from you. This can feel like a hopeless situation and your ex even more unattainable. Using the pestering approach will only lead to not getting your ex back in your arms.

I know how serious you are about getting him/her back, or you would not be looking for help with the situation you have found yourself in.

So here is a little advice to help you:
The first thing you need to do is, stop giving your ex possible reasons to shut you out of their life.

The more often you contact your ex, the more they will feel in control and this is not a good thing to have happen. I know it is difficult to go against your feelings towards your ex, but this is a step you must take, you can call it the first step in which you will need to take if you want the answer to "how do you get your ex back?"

Constantly sending text messages, making phone calls and worse following and staking your ex will build a wall between you... that once built will never be broken down.

Stay clear from pestering I know its hard at this time, but the more control you pass to your ex the more powerful they will feel.

If you're ex feels, they have the upper hand in the brake-up the less likely your ex will want to start rebuilding the broken bridges between you until they feel good and ready to do so.

Love is a strange and wonderful thing and there is no doubt in my mind that you're ex girl/boyfriend will also be missing you, just as much as you are missing them.

We have all won and lost in love, but once in a lifetime we meet the one we love the most and we want to know the answer to the same old question, "how do you get your ex back?"

How To Save Your Relationship - This Easy Method Will Make You Smile Again

Saving your relationship may sound like an impossible feat right now. And for most people, it is. But that's only because they fall into the "victim" trap - the trap that has you going "I'm lost without you - please come back."

In this article, you will learn how to become part of that small, exclusive group of people who are able to restore their relationships to their former glory - simply by paying attention to a few, important things that most people would never think of.

We're not talking about a magic pill here - nor playing games that will have your ex coming back within a week. Those things may work, but your ex would end up leaving you very shortly thereafter when they see that nothing has changed. Nope, we're talking lasting, wonderful changes.

Let's get you started with the basic rules you must follow in order to achieve this:

Spend some time alone

Your soon-to-be-lover-again (aka your ex) isn't the only one who needs space right now. You need it just as badly, whether you realize it or not. So take some time to yourself. This can be a wonderful time for you if you let it. Go out with friends, watch movies - do the things that make you smile - basically have a blast, secure in the knowledge that you will be permanently back with him/her before you know it. Go out and be that person your ex fell in love with, because if you don't, you'll remain the person he/she dumped.

Right now, you are not the person your ex fell for. Think about it - if you were, you would still be together. It's virtually impossible for your ex to want you back unless you can become who he/she fell in love with again. This can only be achieved by relaxing and enjoying yourself. That's what you did when you first met.

When you are back in good communication with your ex, here is your next step:

Focus on him/her - not you.

Maybe your ex needs to spend more quality time with you - or perhaps she/he needs more space. Or any other thing - all dependent on your dynamic. The point is that it is essential that you ask your ex what their needs are. When you do, more often than not, you'll be surprised at what their needs are, as in most cases, people's needs are so humble that you'll wish you'd have asked sooner.

Third on our list, and just as important:

Grant your ex some space

Most of us just want to call/text/e-mail or contact our ex in any way we can after a break up. It hurts, and all we want is the sweet relief of holding our ex in our arms again. It's natural. However, it's never a good idea. As a matter of fact, it's the perfect way of ruining any chances of getting back together again. When your ex wants to get in touch with you, you'll be the first to know. For now, just back off. It's all part of the plan for getting him/her back.

Legal Separation in Texas

When you are experiencing a marital conflict with your spouse and want to take a step towards divorce, some couples consider legal separation as a viable option. Legal separation is beneficial if both spouses believe that they no longer want to live together but would still like to remain married, whether it is a fear of going through divorce proceedings or the hope of eventual reconciliation. In some states, this is legally recognized and spouses can request alimony, child support/custody and division of property under this classification.

However, Texas has no provisions for legal separation, so a divorce must occur to legally separate the above factors. Texas, however, does recognize temporary orders to be filed at the time the divorce is filed. This can help you make impermanent changes while the proceedings are going on.

Because there is no official documentation recognizing a legal separation in Texas, you are still technically married to your spouse during this time. In that instance, you do not have the legal right to divide assets or demand child support, even if the spouse agrees. This may be harmonious if both spouses agree to the same terms but, if one changes his or her mind; you will not have legal protection without a divorce. You can also not remarry unless the court grants dissolution of marriage.

In cases of abuse, either to a spouse or child, a divorce is extremely important in protecting the safety of the victims. Not only should this be brought to court under marital processes, but under criminal law, as well.

Though Texas does not recognize separation, the state does offer a "no fault divorce" law, which allows one spouse to file for a divorce without providing grounds, such as adultery or cruelty. In this case, the spouse only has to prove "irreconcilable differences" and that the marriage cannot be saved any more.

Whether you are going through a separation or a divorce, the help of an experienced attorney can help you navigate this often-confusing process. Because each state has different laws regarding marriage and the dissolution of marriage, you will want to work with a lawyer who has a specialization in your state's laws. Divorce can often be a difficult, stressful time in one's life, but you can alleviate some of those worries knowing that you have intelligence and experience on your side in the form of a divorce lawyer.

Why Do People Get Divorced? The Main Reasons For Divorce

This article will explore the most common reasons for divorce and attempt to answer the question 'Why do people get divorced?'

If you know the most common reasons, you can act on them and potentially avoid a divorce or breakup. A marriage - or long term relationship (I'll be assuming a marriage throughout this article, but many of the exact same factors apply to long-term relationships as well) - that is in trouble will exhibit certain warning signs. Barring some type of abuse going on, almost any marriage can be saved with enough knowledge (if you act on that knowledge).

One common reason for divorce is infidelity. Studies estimate that as many as 80% of marriages will have at least one partner commit adultery during the course of the marriage. This of course is a major problem, and requires a lot of work to get through. Once someone is caught cheating, the trust can be lost forever, and the hurt will never go away.

Another of the major reasons for divorce is a breakdown in communication. If one or the other is not communicating, or shunning the other, or the two can't talk together without fighting, obviously there's a major problem going on.

Many studies and academics claim that money problems are one of the leading causes of divorce. If times are tough, or one partner is upset with the other for either not contributing financially, or not being responsible (or respectful) of a budget, this can snowball into a huge problem. When money is scarce, a lot of the every-day issues can blow up into big fights.

Another leading reason for divorce is sexual incompatibility. If one partner shuts out the other, or if one simply isn't getting their needs met, this not only causes major frustration, but is one of the biggest reasons someone will go out and have an affair. These issues definitely need to be worked out - sometimes with the help of a therapist, sometimes simply by acknowledging and making an effort to meet the other person's needs - or a divorce may be imminent.

Simple negativity is, in my opinion, one of the absolute most important reasons for divorce. What I mean by negativity is what others would term 'nagging' or being demeaning, insulting, or negative in general. If someone can't stand being around their spouse because they are constantly being belittled or simply because they feel unappreciated, this is a doomed relationship unless things drastically change, and fast.

Abuse - physical or mental - is another of the main causes of divorce. In this case, a divorce and a complete separation from the other person is the best case of action. I don't care how many other factors are involved, if abuse is going on, the abused partner needs to get out of there as soon as possible - abuse only escalates, it never disappears mystically on its own.

Unless there's abuse going on, almost all of the above problems can be solved. If people educate themselves - don't try to go off how you 'think' relationships work, educate yourself - there is no reason why almost any marriage or relationship can't be saved. None of these issues other than abuse is a death sentence for a marriage, and although these are the most common reasons for divorce, almost every problem can be overcome with enough knowledge and effort.